yesterday i baked a cake

Yesterday I made a cake.

I beat the eggs and sugar until creamy, fluffy, and the most soothing soft yellow color. I watched as ribbons of it fell off the beaters as I lifted them from my favorite vintage Pyrex bowl.

I added the vanilla. Two kinds, extract and paste. The smell was divine as I watched the tiny specks of vanilla seeds from the paste spread through out the batter as I stirred. Warm and comforting.

I sifted in the flour and then folded, folded, ever so gently folded it in until incorporated, feeling the batter stiffen just a bit.

Then came the butter. Oh so much melted butter is added and again, gently folded in so as not the lose the air created with the earlier beating. Rivers and pockets of butter form and then are split apart with in the creamy batter until it all becomes one.

There is a slow rhythm to this cake. Patience and a soft touch reveal the sensuousness of what some may think of as a boring, too simple cake. But not me.

There is richness and complexity, nuance and layers hidden within what is often so easily disguarded as basic and mundane.

 

I poured the batter into the pan, again watching ripples flow down and spread with ease and just enough languid viscosity to create a kind of of slow motion dance. I think of my grandmother as I scrape the bowl and how she insisted on getting every speck of goodness into the pan, not wasting any drop. I swear she scrapped bowls so clean they didn’t need washing after. Not me. I always leave some of the goodness behind because poetry can be written about the joys of licking bowls and spatulas.

My cake is given over to the oven to let heat do its alchemy. The warm sent of vanilla spreads through out the house as the cake puffs high and browns evenly.

These moments, when the air is fragrant with the comfort of baking sweetness, the anticipation of that first warm bite even though the recipe says to wait until cooled, the peering thorough the oven door wishing it would make the baking faster because the waiting is so hard, these simple moments hold some of the great mysteries of being. How much sensual possibility each moment holds, how the craving to be immersed in a full experience of our senate natures is voiced though anticipation, how being in the moments between expectation and fulfillment stretch time so that we might sink deeper into an experience becoming itself.

And then it is done. My cake comes out of the oven and I place it on a cooling rack, its puffiness sinking just the right amount just as it should. After a few minutes of cooling I turn it over and it is that moment every baker waits for- is the cake going to release from the pan or stick? I hear and feel the quiet ~paaah~ as it drops free.

A perfect cake. Rich, soft, fragrant, intense, smooth, light.

Yesterday I needed something to bring me back home to myself. To slow down the worry bordering on panic. A mix of fear and uncertainty about what is happening in my county and the world was think and heavy. What is outside of my control spinning me outside of myself, leaving me ungrounded and unsure. And so I baked a cake. A simple, humble cake. Each step slowing me down, bringing me present, opening my senses, bridging the ordinary and exquisite of life, returning me to my elemental nature. I felt myself again.

There is nothing new or revolutionary in this story. And yet those things that comfort and return us to ourselves seldom are. Simple practices, old fashion comforts, humble day to day living stuff. Take a walk. Talk to a friend. Notice beauty. Make something with your hands. Slow down.

There is richness and complexity, nuance and layers, hidden within what is often so easily disguarded as basic and mundane.

 

So often this is deemed too ordinary and simplistic for such complex and grave problems as we face today. It is not. There is sacred in mundane, glory in basic, salvation in common and simple acts of nurturing and pleasure.

Yesterday mine took the form of a baking a cake.

~monday oracle~ march 20, 2017

Letting Go of Shame

from Venus Rising by Outi Art

The gift of shame is mistaken to be
redemption that comes from
carrying burdens 
so that we might be purified

That penitence must be served
for any fault against perfection

I am ashamed
the hurt one within cries
hoping against hope to be saved by bearing the weight
of secrets and the scars
of life

Yet the gift of shame
is the return to self and world granted
when bonds never meant to be are released
replaced by devotion to the
sacred
imperfect
wholeness of being
that never left

Letting go of shame
that residue of false emotional responsibility
in favor of rightness of heart and action
is the spark that lights
a path of truth and healing

*****

Where are you holding on to shame? What can now be released about this situation or story or history?

We all hold pieces of our self in shrouded corners, afraid of what others might think. Whether out of regret for actions we have taken or for circumstance and harm beyond our control, shame festers when held onto and is lifted when taken out of secrecy in a respectful and safe way.

The flower on the throat chakra points to truth telling while the infinity sign on the third eye and dove imagery evokes the infinite divine love and peace available when we open our awareness.

How might you open yourself to the grace of truth over shame?

This week look for ways let go of shame and notice where love and peace come to you.

~monday oracle~ march 13, 2017

Bramble- Wisdom

from the Plant Ally oracle by Lisa McLaughlin

In the midst of all that pricks and grabs
keeping you snarled and seemingly trapped
is treasure

Wisdom is born not just from seeking
but is grown from how you risk what is worth suffering for
walking away from what is not
and honing your judgement of each

Take your hurts and disappointments
distill the treads of gold they hold
this is the stuff of your unfolding nature

*****

If life is feeling harsh and maybe scary right now, lean into the wisdom life has brought you to know how to move forward. Know that deeper wisdom is growing as you navigate any challenge or hurt you encounter right now.

Where are you wise?
Where is wisdom growing in you?
How do you tap into wisdom?
Who are those you seek wisdom from? What of them lives already in you?
How are you hurts building wisdom that you will carry forward?

*****

If some personal oracle wisdom would serve you, consider Oracle Alchemy. Oracular wisdom, poetically expressed, from me to you.

~oracle friday~ march 3, 2017- vulnerability

Vulnerability,

from Venus Rising by Outi Art

Vulnerability is the meeting place of
truth and the unknown

A place where, rooted in full honesty of our being
we risk the mystery of will happen next

It is the beginning of what is meant to be
the releasing of false hope
the unveiling of what is now real

Lean into the charged energy of the moment of vulnerability
savor the expectation of what is now ready to be

This is is not a time of safety and hiding
but one of revealing the heart within each of our longings

*****

Where is life asking you to be more vulnerable and true?
Take at least one small step there today.

beautiful rightness and the quest for our elemental nature

I integrate slowly. Like honey that has been stored in a cold place, the flow is incremental. I want the resolution, the insight, the clarity right now because the tension in the waiting is uncomfortable. I am often impatient and judgmental with myself. And yet, I can’t, I won’t, jump into things with out my inner alignment anymore. Age and wisdom have done their parts to temper my restlessness and drive for action at the cost of readiness and timing.

I get caught in the bias for fast and quick. I love the feeling of the pieces falling into place, the grand download of the plan, the a-ha moment, the “Eureka! I’ve found it” exhilaration that propels me into inspired action and swift progress. In my frustration with slow I forget that these moments of flashing clarity never come without the ground work having been laid by stretches of time learning, exploring, practicing, and allowing.

Every drop of honey is the work of untold numbers of bees. The blossoms that attracts those bees only burst forth after a cold winter. Most of the time the work and time tending are unnoticed or unacknowledged. We, I at least, separate this necessary tending work and time from the triumphant outcome, therefore making that outcome more important than what created it. To have a robust harvest, good and nourishing cultivation must take place first.

Is my pace really any slower than others? More than some and less than others I have observed. Years of living and self exploration, coaching and reading for others, studying the way our individual energy works, what I know is that my way is my way. Just as yours is uniquely yours. There is a beautiful rightness to our way- for us.

It is this ‘beautiful rightness” that I truly crave rather than the faster pace I get hooked into. Not the way it looks for others, which can be so seductive. It always seems easier for those magical others I admire. This ease I project onto others is an illusion of my own flawed expectations. Their way is not mine, nor mine theirs.

It is this Beautiful Rightness I help others find for themselves.

I also call this our Elemental Nature. When we trust it, honor it, use it, lean into it as the the powerful gift it is, our life feels like it is truly ours and we are at home in it.

It is already inside you, I help you listen to it.

Human Design Readings illuminate how your individual energy is designed to flow and how best it in the highest and most effective way. Lumina Guidance is a deep, soul dive intuitive season bringing in Human Design (you do not need to have had a reading) Tarot and Oracle cards to explore what is unfolding in your life right now. Personal Coaching is sustained support as you discover and live more true to your own beautiful and uniquely right way. We each have a life path that is only our own.

In a world that all to often seems built on competition, comparison and the never ending demands to achieve a cookie cutter version of success, it is a radical and sovereign thing to embrace your own way. No matter what way that is.

oracle friday- february 24, 2017

~ Visions of Life Beyond Death~
from Sacred Rebels Oracle by Alana Fairchild

When you can not see what is ahead
and all around is desolate

When what you thought was solid is
falling apart

When endings and dismantled progress
leave you in fear and despair

Turn inward toward your visionary senses

There is a place ever alive
and seeking

new expression and form

It may whisper in your dreams
speak through the trees
find its way through pleasure and rest
be discovered in art and creative musing

What lies beyond death is
already forming
seeking those that welcome it

*******

While much is dying away and this can cause unrest and fear, seek out the newly forming vision. This will be something that could not live with out this present shedding. You must go into the dark unknown, feeling your way with your senses and intuition, for what you see before you right now is not the end, but the beginning.

If these times are wearing at you, consider an Intuitive Love Note. A bit of soul magic via the wisdom of the Tarot. Available until the 28th.