why i read cards

Not because they will tell my future, but because they will point me to what needs my attention so I create the future I want.

I believe that divinatory insight is a form of wisdom guidance. A nuanced dance between conscious knowing and mystery that takes the ordinary and opens it up to the mystical. Here meaning and revelation is created. Not as some outside authority dictating what is or is not true, but as an invitation to engage the larger energies and subtle senses of who we are to find greater truth and personal answers.

Every question posed to any oracle, whether large or small, is an invocation.

 

A prayer of higher perception initiating relationship between the mundane and the sacred. Here space is opened to explore and discover. Veils drop. Connections are made.

Are the cards always right? Can intuition be trusted? What if the information doesn’t make sense or I don’t understand it?

While accuracy, trust, and skill are important and I can go on about that, in my opinion there is a more important process happening when engaging with the cards- whether as the reader or seeker. It is the process of coming to know what we know is true, for us. And this, being in the open exploration of what and how we know what we know is true is foundational to our ability to trust ourselves, our choices, and our beliefs. The ability to be in flux with this as the sands of new or conflicting information shifts our awareness and perspectives, is to find the sold ground of us.

Like so many, I was separated from my intuition early on. My ability to trust myself, my own felt experience of the world and gut feelings, were undermined by a family and society that discounts such things. I found myself over and over again abdicating my inner knowing to the opinions or appeasement of others, despite feeling inside something was off. Over time I lost all confidence of what was true for me and instead replaced it with what was true for others. This didn’t end up so well, as you might imagine. I said yes when I wanted to say no, did what was expected rather than what I wanted, trusted untrustworthy people and information because others did, ended up in some dangerous and harmful situations.

Enter Tarot.

I was really in a bad and dark place. Because of bad choices stemming from not listening to the danger alarms going off inside I ended up hurt, in therapy, questioning everything I knew about myself and my past, not sure I would survive it all. At the suggestion of several friends I got my first reading from an amazing woman. Despite not believing in this kind of stuff at all and the teachings of conservative religion, I was in enough turmoil to try something so unusual for me. If I got something useful who cared how it came to me? The reading itself was powerful, validating, grounding, insightful, and most importantly awakened a fire to know more.

I dove into learning about the cards, spending every free moment playing, asking questions, doing readings for myself, even sleeping with my deck under my pillow. While I was obsessed with learning everything I could, something more important and essential was happening. My intuition was waking up, my trust in listening and understanding this most intimate and individual internal language was being honed. I always say that working with cards was and is my master class in intuition cultivation and confidence. It was the way I come back home to myself. It continues to be my tool of choice when I want clarity, direction, guidance, an nudge in the right direction.

Symbolic and archetypal imagery has a way of sidestepping internal noise and communicates directly to our psyche. The art is in interpreting it through our rational faculties so it aligns with our deep sense of Truth. Truth that aligns our knowing, perceiving, sensing, feeling selves. Even when the information is unexpected, or doesn’t make logical sense, or goes against long held ways of being and beliefs. This is true as a reader and as a seeker. It is this process, this engagement with finding that aligned Truth that is the gift of reading, and being read for.

Oracles hold Trickster energy. They sometimes give smooth and elegant messages, and we go “Ah, yes! This.” Sometimes they poke and provoke us to to claim the power of “No, that is not my truth. Those words, that interpretation is not true for me. But this is…” and we get the gift of voicing what what we know is true in a different way.

A reading is not the truth but a holder of space to discover Truth.

 

This process, is why I read cards. Not to be right. Not to get insider information on the workings of the Universe. Not to know the future. Well, my ego can get caught in these things, and that is when I need to check myself. But really, it is the unraveling of the moment reflected in the cards, looking for the messages, seeking the resonate truth that holds so much magic. When reading for others, it is to deliver the messages as I receive them and then allow the seeker to have their relationship with it. They will go through their own process of hearing the message, letting it do its alchemy on their deeper energies and become the message that is Truth for them.

Each time I shuffle I am asking the energies-that-be to come into communion, to open a conversation of higher purpose. It doesn’t matter whether the question is grand and life shifting or humble and of little long term consequence. Mundane and epic only have relevance to our linear mind. But Truth, and getting to feel the inner spark of it as it lands in the cells of the flesh, mine and yours, this is why I read cards.

*******

Until the end of February I am offering a small, sweet written Tarot reading I’m calling Intuitive Love Notes. The world is always pulling us away form ourselves. This reading will point the way back.

If more in depth, intuitive support interests you, Lumina Guidance may be for you.

i seek beauty at times like this

singlefallleaf

I think about what I want to write here and all my grand ideas fizzle. The blank page fills with starts and dead ends. The truth is I have no grand ideas right now. I fluctuate between despair, rage, wishfulness, conviction, and tiny glimmers of hope.

And so I seek out Beauty. Consciously cultivate my relationship with this language of the Divine. I believe in the power of beauty to sooth, to heal, to inspire, to bring us home to ourselves. This is the practice that returns me to myself when the world has pulled me too far away.

I can trust Beauty. Not Vanity, that deception that masquerades as Beauty, a glamor that disguises emptiness and false promises. Beauty reveals, it doesn’t hide.

There is a soul to Beauty.  A living breath of holy incarnation. It shows itself in a baby’s smile, a withered rose, a mud soaked and haggard first responder, a lover’s disappointment, a poet’s words. I can point to Beauty forever and yet I will never be able to truly describe it.

Beauty is an experience. At once as mundane and ever present as I am willing to see, and as an intangible miracle offering a glimpse into the Mysteries. This is the path I walk as I am finding myself again. Weaving between the known and unknown, the ordinary and extraordinary, wiling to see Beauty hidden and obvious. When I let it, it cracks me open to Truth.

So I seek Beauty at times like this, when I am so easy overcome by the fears and hurts of the day, when urgency for something else clouds what is always here all along.

The essence of life that is running through everything.

i wait and gather pieces of the year wanting to be

image3

This is one of those days I dream of in the heat of summer. Rainy and blustery outside, I have no where to go and I have a warm cup of tea beside me. I’m wearing cozy socks and have a deliciously soft alpaca scarf around my neck, the scarf I knit from yarn purchased on our trip to Montana last summer. I remember buying the yarn back in the heat of July imagining myself wrapped up in it during the cold of winter.

The past foreseeing the future now present.

It is comforting thinking of how my past self dreamed me here. It has me curious about what I am dreaming now for myself this year. I feel like the tree outside my window. Stripped bare by its natural cycle and the winter storms, its stark beauty and mystery revealed as its branches reach towards the grey sky. Nothing hidden under a regalia of lush summer green.

I take stock of who I am now. The successes and failures, the wishes, desires, fears and circumstances as they led me here and as they are now. Then I open deep with in, feel into the subtle energies of creative flow slowed by the season and need for rest yet no less potent. I listen with intention and gentleness for the whispers of muses still finding their way to me. I seek guidance in deep conversations with wise kindreds, journal as a form of written scrying, card gaze and chart dive following threads of illumination spoken in imaginal languages.

I wait and gather pieces of the year wanting to be.

 

 

 

i am more moon than calander

moon_01-01-17

Happy New Year!

And, I am not ready.

My house is not clean, I don’t have goals, I don’t know what I want, I am not complete with last year…Basically I’m a messy mess.

From one perspective.

Actually from another, softer point of view, I am a creature of the moon and the push and pull of the ocean tides. A being of flow and rhythm not easily governed by linear time and calendar grids.

I am still in the hazy dreamy space of my what-is-next.

And I want to stay here just a bit longer until what is true comes into organic focus. I have spent too many years of this lifetime conforming to the date on the wall, the hands of the clock, the linear march of time that waits for no one. I’m doing different right now. Waiting in the cozy in between, allowing what is next to arise with clarity and allure.

Until then I will tend my inspiration, hone my desire, keep taking the next step of what is next to be done. As the moon makes her way to fullness, I trust so will my vision.

Where are you with the New Year? Ready, prepared, optimistic, excited? Or more confused, worn out, not sure? Maybe a bit nervous and apprehensive? Where every you are, if you feel that some support would be helpful, consider working with me. 

How ever this New Year is finding you, I wish you much Love and Beauty.

found signs

found signs

I am gradually putting out my seasonal things. I don’t do it all at once but over time. Building, adding, layering bits and pieces I have gathered. Yes, I am one of those collector, gatherer types. I am always picking up sticks, rocks, piece of moss, leaves, little bits of nature. My windowsills are lined with beach rocks and my altars always have some bit of collected nature.

I found this bit of fallen tree branch a couple of years ago, struck by the skull so clearly marked. To me that it. Since I was out searching for things to add to an altar for an October dark moon ritual, this seemed like a divine sign!  A found skull on a piece of dead branch just a few days before Halloween, the time of the thinning veil and spirits. It spoke to me of magic, transition, endings and meaning after death. I felt tingles and a giddiness of discovery and understanding!

On the way home I passed our neighbors and when they asked what I was carrying I showed them my treasure. He didn’t see the face in the wood but she did. For them it was merely an interesting oddity. And that is the way of signs. They speak to us in different ways, as individual as our fingerprints. This piece of wood is placed on many of my altars as a reminder of the power of death, the gifts of nature, the way our world is always speaking to us. We just need to slow down enough to learn our language together.

This is the season of reading signs and finding meaning in the ordinary and it is one of the ways we will be celebrating in Signs, Stories, and Shadows.

signs_stories_shadows

Do come join us if you feel called to wrap yourself in the energies of deep Autumn!

thresholds

image

(want to hear me speak this? Scroll down to the SoundCloud link below.)

Thresholds

Life will cast you through many
it is the way of things

Each day bringing a new passage
into more of life, or less
into more of yourself, or less

Into more, or less

What is the threshold in front of you?

Are you eager to walk through or frightened?

Perhaps both

There is magic in the liminal space of the threshold
where time and being still so the new can come together

It is an instant of life
holding all that has come before and all that is possible after

Your task is simple

Walk forward

One step closer to yourself